“On your way home from church, stop at the grocery store and buy all the leafy vegetables you can carry. Under no circumstances should you eat the vegetables, as they contain dangerous amounts of butt-blasting fibre. Instead, affix them to your head. Laughter is a type of medicine, so try to laugh at yourself. This shouldn’t be difficult, because you’re wearing a hat made of salad. Seriously, look in the mirror. You look like an asshole.” — from Amy Ozlos’ hangover cure, the best thing (so far) in my first issue of the New Yorker.